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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29154774">Remembrance of the Past</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilElsaXX/pseuds/EvilElsaXX'>EvilElsaXX</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fate: The Winx Saga (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Drama, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Femslash, Magic, Post-Season/Series 01, Unplanned Pregnancy, farahandrosalindhaveachild, magic baby, pastpregnancy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:47:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,011</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29154774</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilElsaXX/pseuds/EvilElsaXX</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rosalind decided not to kill Farah as she could still be useful to her and the greater cause. At least that’s what she tells herself. This time, however, Rosalind is not the only one with secrets.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Farah Dowling &amp; Rosalind, Farah Dowling/Rosalind</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>115</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>177</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Face to Face</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey everyone! @Ttyl123 asked for a story where Farah finds out she's pregnant shortly after the imprisonment of Rosalind. This is my attempt at writing such a story. The focus will be on the present, but the past will be addressed as well through flashbacks. This is more like an introductory chapter where the outcome of the first season's last episode is slightly different. Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 1 – Face to Face</strong>
</p><p>Farah had just buried the bodies of the Burned Ones when she heard a familiar voice behind her. Rosalind.</p><p>“You buried them. How noble.” Farah didn’t move, didn’t turn around. Ever since her former mentor had been freed from the prison she had created so many years ago, she had known that this moment would come. That they’d have to face each other. Nevertheless, she still didn’t feel ready.</p><p>“Well, it seemed fitting, seeing as they were clearly human at one time.” Her heart was beating heavily against her chest and she took a deep breath before finally turning around to look at Rosalind for the first time in 16 years.</p><p>“But then you knew about them, didn’t you?” Farah was very well aware of the fact that Rosalind had a huge amount of knowledge that she preferred to keep to herself in order to use it when it would come in handy.</p><p>“I did, I did.” Rosalind didn’t even hesitate answering Farah’s question. She’d known for decades.</p><p>“Are there more out there?” Farah was still worried. About her school, her students and even about Solaria.</p><p>“Shit ton,” Rosalind answered and didn’t sound worried at all. They had been fighting the Burned Ones for ages, they had lost so many good and brave people, soldiers, even children…and it seemed that Rosalind considered them to be a mere inconvenience, but nothing more.</p><p>When Rosalind sat down on the bench and signalised Farah to follow her, the current headmistress of Alfea refused to follow.</p><p>“Oh god. Don’t pout, Farah.” Rosalind wasn’t particularly happy that Farah chose to keep her distance, so she decided to provide some information the other fairy would probably find incredibly interesting. She’d let Farah have it her way this one time.</p><p>“Fine. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Just this once. There’s a legend. It’s a thousand years old. That’s how old the Burned Ones are, by the way. They were soldiers from an ancient war. The legend is about the magic used against them. It created them. It’s powerful. It’s primal. The Dragon Flame. It burns inside our changeling friend.”</p><p>“So that’s why Bloom was able to transform so easily.”</p><p>“With my guidance, yes. The Burned Ones never stood a chance.” Rosalind sounded as arrogant as always. Shocked, Farah realised what the other woman had just admitted.</p><p>“You let the Burned Ones into the school to test her? Risked the lives of countless students?” Farah was furious. This school and the safety of her students meant everything to her. It was her top priority and would always be. It was everything she had left.</p><p>Rosalind didn’t react to Farah’s little outburst directly. “There’s a war on the horizon.” She sighed. “The Burned Ones are nothing compared to what’s coming. I fear you lack the composure to lead the next generation into it.” </p><p>“And there it is.” Farah had expected this, but it hurt nevertheless. Being questioned in the one thing that made her feel whole after everything that happened. She walked towards the bench with quick steps and sat down next to Rosalind, their faces almost touching. “Once I stepped out from under your shadow, I saw a world full of light. Turns out this place isn’t miserable. It was just you. I am the headmistress of Alfea. And there is no way I’m leaving the school in your hands.” Farah tried to sound strong, but her trembling voice betrayed her. She knew that she was about to lose everything she held dear and it left its marks on her. </p><p>Rosalind only laughed. “What a shame Queen Luna doesn’t agree with you. I was planning to threaten her with exposing her role in the cover-up at Aster Dell, but that wasn’t even necessary. Apparently, she’s been mad at you for some time. She agreed the school could use a change. As we talk, the queen is installing me as the new headmistress of Alfea, Silva is being arrested for the murder, pardon, attempted murder of Andreas and now…,” Rosalind moved even closer to Farah, “all we have to talk about…is you.”</p><p>“What about me? Do you want to arrest me as well? Blame me for what happened in Aster Dell.”</p><p>“I have to admit that the thought did cross my mind. Queen Luna and Andreas were even more radical though. They suggested to get rid of you for good. I, however, pointed out that you might still be useful. Bloom seems to like you. And she trusts you more than Beatrix or me. I saw the two of you earlier in your office. Yes, I was there.”</p><p>“I’d rather be dead or locked away than being used for your schemes. I won’t convince Bloom to follow you if that’s what you’re hoping.”</p><p>“Well, I guess we’ll see about that.” Before Farah realised what was happening, Rosalind had put a bracelet on each of her wrists that were similar to the ones she had used to arrest Beatrix. Farah winced in pain when the thorns pierced her skin leaving a trickle of blood behind. “I modified them myself. They’ll even stop a fairy as powerful as yourself from using any kind of magic. Impressive, isn’t it? Don’t even try to take them off or you might get severely hurt.” Not giving Farah the time to say anything, Rosalind stood up and started walking away. After several steps, she turned around and looked Farah directly into the eyes.</p><p>“You should stay close, my dear. This world is not safe for a fairy without her powers. And especially not for one the queen would rather see dead. I don’t believe you that you’d really prefer that fate. Who’d look after your precious students if you and Silva were gone?”</p><p>tbc</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“You should stay close, my dear. This world is not safe for a fairy without her powers. And especially not for one the queen would rather see dead. I don’t believe you that you’d really prefer that fate. Who’d look after your precious students if you and Silva were gone?”</em>
</p><p>	Farah hesitated. She wasn’t entirely sure she really wanted to follow the other woman. That their meeting would end like it had was not really a surprise, but something inside her wished it had gone differently. She shook her head absently. Rosalind would never change. She would never put anything before her pursuit of power. It had always been like that and would remain that way. Silent tears found their way down Farah’s cheeks and she lowered her head in case Rosalind would turn around again. She really didn’t want the other woman to see her like that. She had always hated weakness, no matter in what form.</p><p>	When Rosalind was out of sight, Farah walked back to the bench and sat down, her whole body shaking. Here she was. Alone. Without any of her powers. Losing everything all over again. Saul was gone and Ben couldn’t help her. Not if he didn’t want to put his children at risk and she’d never expect this of anyone. On top of that, the students would certainly be punished if they dared to support her in any way as she knew that Rosalind expected unconditional obedience and discipline. Farah wouldn’t let this happen though. It wasn’t their fight to fight. It was hers. Hers alone. She was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts when she heard somebody shouting.</p><p>“Oh, hello Miss Dowling! I really like those bracelets. They look really good on you. I mean they match your eye colour so much better than mine.” Beatrix walked past her former teacher and couldn’t stop grinning devilishly. Two of the specialists were following her around like trained puppies. “You’re lucky Rosalind seems to see something in you or you’d be rotting in a cell like Saul. You should be grateful it’s only the bracelets.” With a last hateful glance in Farah’s direction, Beatrix and the boys walked through the barrier and into the forest.</p><p>Farah shook her head. Rosalind didn’t see anything in her. At least not anymore. The only reason she was still walking the grounds of Alfea was that Rosalind wanted to you use her. That’s why she kept her close. Not because she meant anything to her. Rosalind had told her so herself only minutes ago.</p><p>It had been different before everything went down the drain that fatal day in Aster Dell. They had been close. Very close. Ever since her time at school she had admired Rosalind for her strength and when the other woman had taken her under her wing to teach and train her herself, they had started to grow closer. She had trusted Rosalind, never questioned her decisions. Farah had believed her to be a true leader, to be a true friend, her friend. But apparently everything had been nothing but show to keep her in line. Rosalind must have sensed that she was promising, that her abilities would grow stronger and stronger and turn her into one of the most powerful fairies. That’s why she’d been nice to her, why she’d wanted her close. To make sure she wouldn’t fall out of line.</p><p>Oh, and she had believed her. Her young and naive self had believed everything the powerful fairy had told her. Rosalind had been famous in Solaria back then and every single time she had smiled at her or praised her outstanding abilities it was like the whole world had stopped turning. And then…slowly…she had fallen in love with Rosalind, with the woman, not the unscrupulous leader. Farah had feared that Rosalind didn’t feel the same for her, yet she had hoped. Hoped to be more important than power or war. That if there was ever a decision to be made, Rosalind would chose her. Them. How wrong she’d been.</p><p>And now…now she was a prisoner in her own school. On Rosalind’s command. She didn’t even know where she’d sleep tonight. She only knew that the further away from Rosalind the better it would be.</p><p>Farah had often wondered what might have been if things had gone differently. If they had lived in a time of peace. She even had addressed this topic in one of her conversations with Rosalind back then, but her reaction hadn’t quite been what Farah had hoped for. That day they had been hunting Burned Ones for hours, had set up their tents and were preparing to go to bed.</p><p>
  <strong>***Flashback***</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Everybody else had already disappeared into their tents but Farah decided to stay outside a little longer. Rosalind took the first shift to stand guard and Farah thought it might not be the worst time to talk.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What will we do when all this fighting is over? Have you ever thought about it?” Farah asked curiously into the darkness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Rosalind joined her at the fire and made herself comfortable next to the younger woman. “There will always be wars to fight and monsters to kill. That’s what we were trained for. That’s why we’re here. ”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I know that…But I mean if there was peace and…don’t you wish to have a family sometime? Life cannot only be about war. There has to be so much more than that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I neither have the time nor the right position for a family, Farah. Family is weakness. It makes you vulnerable. You should remember that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Farah wasn’t quite sure what to answer or what to make of that. Rosalind seemed to have quite the strong opinion on this and it caused her heart to ache slightly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>For a long time that felt liked hours to Farah they sat next to each other in silence.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You should go to bed, Farah. We’ve got a lot to do tomorrow. And don’t plague your mind with things that are irrelevant anyway. You need to be focused for the fights ahead.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“As you wish. Good night, Rosalind.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Farah went to her tent, but couldn’t sleep that night. At least not until Rosalind entered as well to sleep next to her. Farah was pulled into a tight hug and it were those moments that fuelled her hope that there might be a future for them after all. Rosalind wasn’t a person that constantly showed her emotions or talked about them, but such gestures showed Farah that she at least meant something to the woman she had feelings for.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>***End of Flashback***</strong>
</p><p>Family. Farah almost had to laugh and if some of her worst and saddest memories hadn’t been connected to this word, she probably would have. She had lost her chance of having a real family a long time ago and there was no one to blame but herself.</p><p>tbc</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Place to Sleep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Family. Farah almost had to laugh and if some of her worst and saddest memories hadn’t been connected to this word, she probably would have. She had lost her chance of having a real family a long time ago and there was no one to blame but herself.</em>
</p><p>The sun was already setting when Farah finally decided to walk back up to the school. It was rather cold already and she shivered slightly. Her steps were short and her pace slow. Despite the pretty low temperatures she really was in no hurry to get back. If she still had her magic, she would have probably stayed longer as she could have used the weak fire magic she had. Fire was the hardest element to control when you weren’t born with it.</p><p>After about half an hour Farah stood infront of the school’s main building. Queen Luna and her forces had already left as it seemed and Farah was grateful for that. Dealing with that woman and seeing how she treated her own daughter, her own flesh and blood, had been one of the worst parts of being headmistress of Alfea. And she really feared for Stella now that Rosalind was in power again. Her methods had always been rather questionable. Results were her top priority and she’d  do whatever it took to achieve them. As Farah was sure that Luna had given the same instructions to Rosalind that she’d given her and as Rosalind certainly didn’t mind going through with it there’d be hard weeks ahead of the young girl.</p><p>She was not as worried about Bloom though. Rosalind desperately wanted her on her side and she usually played nice with those fairies. Farah had been one of them herself when she had gone to school.</p><p>For now, however, the girls were save. At least for this one weekend she wouldn’t have to worry about any of them. They had left for the First World pretty early that day to spend some time at the house of Bloom’s adoptive parents and she was happy for them.</p><p>After having stared at the doors for quite some time, Farah opened them and stepped into the main hall that was already deserted.</p><p>As soon as she had entered, she was approached by one of Alfea’s cooks. “Are you hungry? Rosalind ordered us to keep some dinner for you in case you want to eat something when you return.”</p><p>A dry laugh escaped Farah’s throat. As if Rosalind cared. “No, but thank you. I’m not very hungry at the moment.” He nodded and turned around, probably happy that they could finally finish cleaning and go home to their families.</p><p>Unsure what to do now, Farah paced through the room restlessly.</p><p>“Looking for a place to sleep tonight, dear? My new bed is spacious enough for both of us,” she suddenly heard Rosalind’s teasing voice.</p><p>Farah closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning around. She really wasn’t in the mood for dealing with Rosalind again.</p><p>“In fact, it’s my bed, Rosalind. You only took it like everything else. My school, my magic, my best friend. Do you want me to continue?”</p><p>“You’re always so resentful, Farah. But have it your way. I certainly won’t be the one freezing tonight.” She looked at the younger woman with a penetrating gaze as if she waited for her to change her mind.</p><p>“If there’s nothing else, you can as well leave.” Farah’s words were harsh. She simply wanted to be left alone right now. She only feared that Rosalind wouldn’t accept ‘no’ for an answer. No matter what she had just said.</p><p>However, Rosalind simply shrugged and walked towards the headmistress’ chamber. Before she left the room, she turned around one last time. “Sweet dreams, my dear. Oh, and don’t even think about going to Ben or some of your students. They’ve been informed that they are not allowed to let you stay overnight.”</p><p>As soon as Rosalind was gone and the door had fallen into its locks, Farah started breathing again. She hadn’t even noticed that she had held her breath.</p><p>Farah opted for one of the stone benches and tried to make herself comfortable there but it was basically impossible. After less than 10 minutes her back already started hurting and her neck felt stiff. She didn’t know when it happened or how considering those sleeping arrangements but at some point during the night she drifted into an uneasy and restless sleep.</p><p>The following morning, Farah was woken by the sunlight that shone directly onto her face. She slowly opened her eyes and needed a few moments to realize where she was, how she had ended up here and what had happened the day before. When she finally did, Farah was wide awake. </p><p>She was rather confused that she suddenly had a cushion as well as a blanket. Someone must have sneaked out of their bed and into the main hall to make sure she wouldn’t feel cold during the night and Farah wondered who it could have been. The first and only name that came to her mind was Ben because she didn’t really think that anybody else cared enough about her to risk angering Rosalind.</p><p>When Farah stood up her back felt like she’d been sleeping on that bench for a week already. There was not a single spot that didn’t hurt like hell. Trying to ignore the pain, she looked down at her makeshift bed where a small piece of paper caught her eye. It had a note scribbled on it and lay next to the cushion she’d been given. Now she knew that it couldn’t have been Ben as this was certainly not his handwriting and she started reading in silence.</p><p>tbc</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So what do you guys think? Who left that note for Farah?:)<br/>Unfortunately, I don't think I'll manage to upload a new chapter before next Tuesday as I've got 2 university exams on Monday and I still have a book to finish for one of them.:D But I'll then dedicate Tuesday to writing.:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Not Alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Trying to ignore the pain, she looked down at her makeshift bed where a small piece of paper caught her eye. It had a note scribbled on it and lay next to the cushion she’d been given. Now she knew that it couldn’t have been Ben as this was certainly not his handwriting and she started reading in silence.</em>
</p>
<p>The note read: <em>“Miss Dowling, I hope you’re well considering the circumstances. Andreas may be my biological father but it was Saul who raised me and I know that he is one of your best friends. Be assured that you’ll always have a friend in me. Sky.”</em></p>
<p>Farah clutched the note to her chest, not quite sure whether she should be happy or start crying. On the one hand, she was of course beyond grateful that Sky stood by her, that he had already helped her despite being close to Andreas, Rosalind’s most loyal follower. It felt good to know that there were still people who cared about her. </p>
<p>On the other hand, however, she wondered if her daughter – if she ever found her – would feel about her like Sky felt about Andreas. Farah was worried that she’d never get the chance to be a mother, that her daughter wouldn’t want to be with her, to get to know her. She had given her away, because she’d been in a state that wouldn’t have allowed her to care for a child. She’d been a broken woman back then. Farah didn’t know where her daughter was right now or how she should find her. She’d done a background check on all the mental fairies and even all of the air fairies that would fit with regard to their age, but there had never been a match. </p>
<p>Little did Farah know that there were certain exceptions concerning the inheritability of elements. It was incredibly rare and not many people knew about it.</p>
<p>For a time she’d believed that Beatrix might be her daughter, considering her powerful magic, her element and even her behaviour had sometimes reminded her of Rosalind. She’d secretly tested it, but it had turned out that she’d been wrong. They weren’t related.</p>
<p>Farah suspected that she was somewhere else but not within her reach and some days she felt so empty that she didn’t know how to bear it anymore. The day she gave her daughter away was the day she regretted most in her whole life. Saul was the only person who knew about it and now he was gone. Imprisoned by the Queen and Rosalind. Farah wasn’t sure how to endure her daughter’s next birthday without Saul being around to comfort her. For her, it was by far the worst day of the year. She hadn’t even told Ben.<br/>The former headmistress sighed. She had to push those memories out of her mind, because right now certainly wasn’t the best time for a breakdown. With Rosalind around she couldn’t afford any weakness.</p>
<p>Farah straightened her back, broadened her shoulders and lifted her chin. One day at a time. </p>
<p>As she wanted to be gone before all the students arrived here, Farah grabbed the blanket and the cushion and wanted to hide it in the wall, but when she tapped the stones nothing happened. Her glance wandered down to the bracelets on her wrists and she cursed. She had completely forgotten that her magic was blocked. Farah was used to doing everything with magic, even opening doors. Getting used to the idea that she wasn’t able to use it at the moment would definitely take some time. </p>
<p>Farah looked around. She had to think quickly, had to hide what she held in her hands before the wrong people would see her with it. She didn’t want to put Sky at risk for helping her. </p>
<p>Suddenly, the former headmistress had an idea. Bloom had told her how she’d left Alfea the day the Burned Ones had attacked the school. There should be a secret passage close to the kitchen, a trapdoor on the floor. And Farah assumed that the kitchen didn’t belong to those placed Rosalind would care to visit, so it might be her best option.</p>
<p>It didn’t take Farah too long to find said trapdoor and she left her stuff right at the bottom of the ladder. Intrigued by where the passage would actually lead to on the school grounds, she walked through the dark tunnel and almost had to laugh. This was so surreal. Here she was, sneaking through Alfea as if she was still a student and on her way to a secret party. Farah shook her head disbelievingly. Who would have thought?</p>
<p>As soon as she arrived at the passage’s end, Farah opened the door cautiously which was a good thing as she wasn’t alone. Not even close to being alone. The tunnel ended close to the pond where the specialists trained and here they were, practicing under the command of Andreas. On a Sunday. At about 6am in the morning.</p>
<p>Farah made sure nobody saw her when she left the secret passageway and carefully closed the door behind her. Even though she wasn’t in charge anymore, Farah felt the strong urge to have a chat with Andreas. In her eyes, this was highly irresponsible. Nobody could improve without having time to recover.</p>
<p>While she walked towards the specialists, Alfea’s former headmistress didn’t notice that she was approached from behind.</p>
<p>“Farah…what a pleasant surprise to find you out here at this time,” purred a familiar voice behind her. Rosalind.</p>
<p>Farah sighed and was obviously annoyed by the other woman’s presence. Of course Rosalind was awake already as well. She had always been the first to get up. And she really didn’t seem to need much sleep. The younger woman turned around, remaining silent.</p>
<p>“When I left this morning, you were still sound asleep. Did you sleep well, dear? You must know that I was quite surprised seeing you on that bench with a blanket and all that. Who brought it to you?”</p>
<p>Farah simply shrugged. “No idea,” she answered innocently. “It hadn’t been there when I fell asleep. I only noticed when I woke up.”</p>
<p>“I don’t believe you.”</p>
<p>“And I couldn’t care less about that.”</p>
<p>“Careful, dear. Don’t challenge me.” Rosalind’s voice was dangerously quiet</p>
<p>Farah’s heart was beating heavily against her chest. Rosalind had a talent for making her angry. She must have brought it to perfection during the years she’d been imprisoned.</p>
<p>“If Andreas keeps pushing them without allowing them to rest, they will break down at some point and you know it. We’re not at war anymore, Rosalind,” Farah suddenly changed the topic of their conversation.</p>
<p>“There’s only one thing I have to say to you right now concerning this issue - I couldn’t care less about your opinion on that,” Rosalind snapped and left to join Andres without dignifying Farah with so much as another glance.</p>
<p>tbc</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Return of the Winx</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“There’s only one thing I have to say to you right now concerning this issue - I couldn’t care less about your opinion on that,” Rosalind snapped and left to join Andres without dignifying Farah with so much as another glance.</em>
</p>
<p> The rest of the day went by rather uneventful. The fairies joined the specialist only about half an hour later in the training area and they were tested by Rosalind and Andreas for hours. It was obvious that they wanted to find out how powerful the students were already, who the most powerful were among them and whether they’d follow orders without questioning them.</p>
<p>Farah stayed close, but not too close. She watched the training from a certain distance. Close enough to interfere if she had the feeling that some of her students were in danger. Distant enough to prevent being bothered by anyone.</p>
<p>She closed her eyes and sighed when she suddenly heard footsteps behind her and hoped that whoever it was would simply keep walking past her. This, however, changed instantly when she heard a familiar voice.</p>
<p>“Hey, Farah. Are you okay?” It was Ben who joined her on the wall she was sitting on. “You look tired.”</p>
<p>“I am indeed quite tired. Didn’t sleep too well last night. But it’s okay. These things are way worse than the lack of sleep,” she answered and held up her arms to show Ben the bracelets that blocked her magic. “It feels like a part of me is missing.”</p>
<p>“I can only imagine how you must feel. Maybe Rosalind will give it back to you.” Farah knew that he only wanted to remain positive, to give her some hope that she might get her magic back any time soon, but his attempts to cheer her up were in vain.</p>
<p>“You can’t be serious,” she said rather appalled. “I certainly won’t ask her. She’d be thrilled to see me beg for my magic. No, I’d rather live without it a little longer.”</p>
<p>A sad smiled appeared on Ben’s face. “I understand you…I really do. If only I could do more to help you, but unfortunately my hands are tied. You know…because of Terra and Sam.”</p>
<p>“Ben, please stop. There’s nothing you have to explain yourself for. Children…they always come first,” she said with a sorrowful undertone. Her best friend would probably assume it was because of the situation in general and not because of the mention of children and Farah immediately felt bad about it. She should have told him. She should have told him a long time ago. And if she didn’t tell him now, she probably never would.</p>
<p>Farah, nervously looking down at her hands, was about to entrust him with her most hidden secret when she saw that Rosalind was walking towards them. Perfect timing.</p>
<p>“I hate to interrupt your little chitchat, but I’ve been informed that Bloom, Terra and their friends have just taken a portal back to our world. They should arrive any minute now and I thought you might be interested in joining me and Andreas at the gates. We’ll have to make sure they know who’s in charge now.” Rosalind turned to Farah and looked her directly into the eyes. “I hope we’re on the same page, dear. I would hate to humiliate you publicly if you dared to make a move against me.”</p>
<p>“As I’m really not in the mood for that right now, I won’t do anything that might undermine your newly gained authority,” Farah answered sarcastically. At least for now, the younger fairy added in her thoughts.</p>
<p>Rosalind grinned. “Good. Now that this is settled we should go to make sure we won’t miss the girls. I sincerely hope they enjoyed their little trip to the First World, because there won’t be time for such things in the weeks to come.” Alfea’s headmistress turned around on the spot without giving Farah or Ben a chance to answer and walked towards the school’s entrance gate.</p>
<p>They joined Andreas on the freshly mowed lawn infront of Alfea and together, the four of them waited in silence for the girls to return from their weekend trip.</p>
<p>Not much time had passed when they finally saw the students walking towards the school. They were talking excitedly, laughing loudly and smiling brightly.</p>
<p>“Welcome back, ladies. I hope you had a good time in the First World,” Rosalind greeted the five girls with a smile on her face. “While you were gone, some things have changed around here. Miss Dowling stepped down as Alfea’s headmistress and I am now in charge of your education and training. We also have a new specialist who’ll be in charge with immediate effect as Saul was arrested by the queen’s soldiers for attempted murder and…”</p>
<p>“Murder? But he’d never do that,” Terra gasped, interrupting the older fairy. She simply couldn’t believe what she had just heard. “I’ve known him since I was a child. You…you must be mistaken. Surely you are mistaken.”</p>
<p>“Terra, we’ll talk later. I’ll explain everything to you. Now is not…,” Ben interfered but stopped speaking in the middle of his sentence when Andreas raised his hand to silence him.</p>
<p>“There is nothing to explain. Saul had been my best friend a long time ago but one day there was one thing we didn’t agree upon. He drew his sword, we fought and I almost died. End of the story. That’s why he was locked up and why he’ll stay there. He is a threat. Not only to himself but also everybody else. Saul can’t be trusted. I did trust him once. And I almost paid with my life for it.” Andreas portrayed himself as the victim and left out one important detail. He had drawn his sword first.</p>
<p>“You…you are Sky’s father,” Bloom suddenly realized, putting the pieces of the puzzle together. “Why didn’t you come back for him?”</p>
<p>“At first, I was too weak for that. It took me months to fully recover from my injuries. And with Rosalind imprisoned by Saul and Farah…it would have been too dangerous.”</p>
<p>“But…But they wouldn’t have done that if they’d only known that the people they killed had been blood witches and no ordinary people,” Bloom argued and looked at the adults rather disturbed.</p>
<p>“I know, Bloom. And I’ve already forgiven them for that. Not telling them had of course been a mistake and I had to bear the consequences,” answered Rosalind calmingly. “What is done is done. We can’t change the past. But attacking and almost killing one’s best friend…we can’t just look away from such a serious crime. Saul has to answer for his actions.” Bloom didn’t know what to say to that. If what Rosalind and Andreas said was true, she had to agree with them. However, she wasn’t quite sure if she believed them or not. She didn’t know Saul particularly well. She’d also been rather angry at him for a while because he’d ordered Sky to spy on her, but…Bloom didn’t believe that Sky would have turned out the way he did if he’d been raised by someone heartless enough to kill his best friend because of one disagreement. Something about this story was definitely off.</p>
<p>The fire fairy looked at the former headmistress, hoping she’d say something. Ever since their conversation and the hug she really did trust her. Whatever had happened before was forgiven and forgotten. They’d both made mistakes.</p>
<p>Farah hesitated for a moment. Of course Rosalind and Andreas lied. Saul had told her everything after that fateful day in Aster Dell. However, it would not be a smart move to openly act against Rosalind at the moment or she might end up in a cell together with Saul and she wouldn’t be able to help anyone from there. Neither him nor the students. Then again she didn’t want to lie to Bloom and her friends. Not again. She didn’t want to lose their trust only days after she’d gained it.</p>
<p>“Now is probably not the best time to discuss such things. I’m sure everything will be revealed in the end. But right now I suggest that you go to your dorms, unpack your bags and let everything you’ve learned sink in. Everyone is too emotional at the moment to discuss this.” Bloom didn’t look too happy about Farah’s answer, but nodded anyway and left together with her friends.</p>
<p>“Good night, Miss Dowling.”</p>
<p>“Good night, girls. Get some rest.”</p>
<p>As soon as the students were out of sight, Rosalind turned to Farah. “Diplomatic, are we? I like it. I’ll see you tomorrow, dear. You should get some rest as well. You look rather tired.”</p>
<p>tbc</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Former Lovers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>As soon as the students were out of sight, Rosalind turned to Farah. “Diplomatic, are we? I like it. I’ll see you tomorrow, dear. You should get some rest as well. You look rather tired.”</em>
</p>
<p>“If I had a proper bed, I wouldn’t be,” Farah snapped back. With the students gone, Rosalind most definitely wouldn’t feel challenged and she simply couldn’t hold the comment back.</p>
<p>“But that’s not my fault, is it? I’ve already offered you some space in mine but if I remember correctly, you refused that generous offer,” Rosalind answered with a smirk on her face, knowing Farah would never agree to such an arrangement.</p>
<p>“Generous offer? What a fucking joke! As if I’d ever accept it after what you’ve done.”</p>
<p>“Why not?” the older woman asked innocently. “You used to enjoy my presence in your bed very much when we were younger, dear. What has changed?”</p>
<p>Farah froze. No one had known. No one was supposed to know. She had only told Saul about her relation with her mentor, if you could even call it that, after she’d found out about the pregnancy. He’d been rather shocked to put it nicely. “Shut up, Rosalind!”</p>
<p>Ben looked at her as if she’d gone mad while Andreas followed their conversation with great interest.</p>
<p>“But why would I do that? I thought you missed me,” Rosalind purred, moving closer to Farah. “All those times you screamed my name, all those times you told me you were mine. It must have meant something.”</p>
<p>“Enough!” Farah screamed, tears in her eyes. She pushed Rosalind out of her personal space, turned on the spot and basically ran away from the situation.</p>
<p>“And she hasn’t even told you, has she?” Rosalind now addressed Ben. “You must be such good friends,” she added sarcastically.</p>
<p>“I’m sure she had her reasons,” Ben defended her. “And even if I didn’t know about it, I think I can tell you what has changed. You do nothing but hurt her. Ever since you’ve come back, you seem to do everything in you power to make Farah miserable.”</p>
<p>“She imprisoned me for 16 years without even trying to find out the truth about Aster Dell. She didn’t even visit me. Don’t you think I deserve a little revenge?” If Ben didn’t know better he’d even say that Rosalind sounded a bit hurt.</p>
<p>“You left us in the dark about everything that happened there. Don’t blame anyone but yourself for what happened next. You’re not the victim here.” Those were the last words Ben said to Rosalind before he hurried after Farah.</p>
<p>“Whoa…” Andreas started, his eyes wide open. “So you two really were…I mean…I never suspected anything. Wow.”</p>
<p>“I wish to be alone,” was everything she answered and walked back towards the school where she’d burry herself in work. She didn’t really know what she had hoped for when she’d kept pushing Farah about their former relationship, but this was certainly not it.</p>
<p>Ben went straight to the gardens close to the greenhouse as he was quite sure that he’d find Farah there. He looked around and finally found her in one of her favourite spots. A marbled bench that was surrounded by roses in summer. Unfortunately, all of them had withered already, so it looked rather dull and depressing.</p>
<p>Farah looked completely broken. Never before had he seen her like that and the first time in their friendship, he was unsure how to approach her.</p>
<p>“May I join you?” he asked carefully and when she nodded Ben slowly walked closer.</p>
<p>He put a hand on her shoulder and started talking in a soft voice. “Don’t let her get to you, Farah. That’s what she wanted. Who cares you two were in some kind of a relationship? And it’s not like the whole school knows about this now.”</p>
<p>“You…you don’t understand. There’s so…so much more to this,” Farah sobbed.</p>
<p>Ben sat down next to her and made her look at him. “Then make me understand. Please. I want to help you but I can’t if I don’t know what’s really going on here.”</p>
<p>“I loved her,” Farah admitted quietly.</p>
<p>If Ben was shocked by that, he didn’t let it show. “And that’s okay. We don’t choose with whom we fall in love.”</p>
<p>“Promise you…you won’t judge me after…what I tell you next.”</p>
<p>“I would never judge you. Just let me help you,” he replied with worry in his eyes.</p>
<p>“It was shortly after we…we imprisoned Rosalind that I found out I…I was pregnant,” she began and took a deep breath. Ben didn’t interrupt her, but simply listened and she was grateful for that. “I started feeling sick and Saul…he noticed. At first, I didn’t waste a thought on pregnancy. After all, I…I hadn’t been with anyone but…Rosalind. I didn’t know it was possible back then. But when the signs got more and more explicit…I finally checked it. I told Saul everything…I thought he’d run away, but he stayed with me through it all. You probably remember that we went away for some time to get some rest after the war. You couldn’t come along because your wife was pregnant as well.”</p>
<p>“My first thought was you two would get secretly married,” Ben laughed and let Farah continue.</p>
<p>“The problem was that I was broken and devastated. I…I couldn’t keep the child. I felt like I’d be…an awful mother. So Saul arranged everything and took a memory potion afterwards…I didn’t want any connections to be left, because otherwise…I knew I would have started looking for her. My daughter. It was the biggest…mistake I’ve ever made. I’ve tried to find her…I really did. But I couldn’t.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Farah. I’m so sorry,“ Ben answered with tears in his eyes. This story had broken his heart and he could only image how Farah must have felt, how she still felt because of that. “Now I also understand why you were always so reserved towards Terra. She loved you like an aunt but you could never really accept it because she made you think of your daughter.” The mind fairy simply nodded.</p>
<p>“And I guess Rosalind doesn’t know about it?”</p>
<p>Farah shook her head. “And she never can.”</p>
<p>“I’ll help you as much as I can, but even though you don’t want to hear this, you should consider telling her. I’m far from being fond of Rosalind, but she kind of has a right to know. And even though she was gone for such a long time, she still has connections, powerful friends. I hate to say this but even if we fail, she might be able to find your daughter.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want her to know…she…she hurt me so much,” Farah resisted.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry. I won’t say anything to her. It’s your decision, yours alone,” Ben assured her.</p>
<p>After a moment of silence, Farah started to speak again. “Do…do you want see her?”</p>
<p>“You have a picture?” Ben answered and sounded quite surprised.</p>
<p>“Well not really. The only thing I got is a sonography, but it’s everything I have. Saul hid it. He must have known I’d regret my decision to get rid of every reminder. When I was particularly hurting at one of her birthdays, he gave it to me as a present and it helped me so much. I’ve kept it close ever since.”</p>
<p>Ben smiled. “I’d love to see it.”</p>
<p>Farah looked in the pockets of her coat and when she couldn’t find the picture of her daughter, she froze on the spot. “It’s…not here.” Ben saw the panic in her eyes.</p>
<p>“Calm down, Farah. I’m sure it’s somewhere,” he tried to reassure her.</p>
<p>“That’s the problem. I…I think I left it in my…bedroom.” Fuck.</p>
<p>tbc</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey everyone! I know you won't particularly like what I'm about to say, but I don't think I'll be able to upload a new chapter until the second week of March. I've got two written state examinations (basically the most important ones during my studies) next Friday and the Friday after, so I've got lots of studying to do. If I feel like procrastinating, I might write a new chapter but I don't want you to get your hopes up too high.<br/>However, I've already finished another chapter of my other story which I will upload tomorrow, so you can at least look forward to that one.:) (If you haven't read it yet, you could do so while waiting for this story to continue.)<br/>You'll hear from me soon and I can't wait to read your comments!:)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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